And it returns to rear its ugly head

Last night I had one of the worst dreams.... Only because it was extremely cryptic and left me struggling to find myself and my trust this morning. I hate this! I just want them to go away. It is so much easier to pretend nothing is wrong when there isn't a subconscious reminder that returns every other night. Even if what I am dreading and feeling is not fictional irrational thought, I brought it on myself and should have known better than to express myself and let the 2001-2002 Panda come through. I'm the conductor of this runaway train and I'm not sure I can find the brakes in time. If its not already too late. That certainly isn't the scent of my dryer sheets and that certainly was a reaction that was all too familiar. I don't think I can put myself through that again. My imagination is running wild and it is a creepily unnerving when each little tidbit becomes reality one by one. Fuck you subconscious. Fuck you. Where's the damn off switch.